I'm still on overtime. I've officially worked 115 hours of overtime since the first of May...and there is no end in sight. People keep reminding me of the paychecks. And those are nice, but I don't think they quite understand the utter exhaustion from not only being at work so much but also feeling like you aren't getting anywhere. Honestly, I'm doing some of the most jacked up work I've ever had to do in the whole 16 years I've worked for this company. It just feels like spinning wheels. I'd be less frustrated if I felt like I got things done during all those work hours.
I went to the gym for the first time in...well..I can't really remember the last time I went to the gym. I did a 45 minute Body Combat class. It felt good to be up, moving around. Seeing my under arms jiggle as I punched was sobering. I'm back at a place I swore I'd never be again..a place of my weight creeping up, a place of me mindlessly stuffing my face, a place of being uncomfortable in all my clothes. I don't want to be HERE. And I definitely don't want it to get worse. So, I have to do something.
Sorry if I'm rambling.
My sister moved into her first apartment all by herself. She's been moved away from home for years now, but up until now she's always had a roommate. She lived with our cousin for four years. Them moving on separate from each other is kinda like a divorce, I'm not sure what she got to keep. lol. So we've been window shopping together via text message and pinterest boards. I hope to get up there soon to help her get things on the wall and shop for the odds and ends. It's nice to know I'm needed for something.
But before I go up there she will be coming here (along with our cousin) for a Doctor Who viewing party. I can tell you with a straight face that I never, ever thought I'd be into Doctor Who. But on New Year's Eve Jeremy and I started watching Season Five and we just kept going. Now we have Dalek and Tardis pillows and we are eagerly awaiting the Twelfth Doctor. Do you watch Doctor Who? Will you be watching on Aug. 23?
"I went to your blog to see what you've been up to and there wasn't anything new."
Yeah, I know. I haven't really had the inspiration or time or energy to really sit down and blog anything lately. And even if I did have the urge to blog, what the heck would I blog about? We've been on overtime at work for three months straight. I've been going from work to the couch to bed, repeat.
My brain is mush.
My mid-section is mush (because I haven't been to the gym in months).
I feel like crap.
Tired, fat, crap.
Oh, and it's currently "I'm melting, I'm melting..what a world" degrees outside.
Honestly, I've been in a serious life rut. I don't want to read, I don't want to watch movies, I don't want to blog, or write, or take pictures. I don't want to think about what I'm wearing or do my hair. I want to sleep...and sleep some more..and never have to get out of my PJ's.
Sounds a little like depression, doesn't it? Yeah, don't worry..I don't think it's clinical. My whole life I've lived with bouts of depression. I sink and sink and sink. But I always manage to pull myself out of the tail spin...somehow.
Living in west Texas all my life, I'm fairly use to severe weather. It's feast or famine around here...if you want to call severe thunderstorms a feast. Really, around here, any type of wet stuff falling from the sky is enough cause for celebration.
And, over the years, you sort of get a feel for the weather. The weather sirens can go off for many different reasons, but if you pay attention you don't always needs them to know that things are getting serious. For example, a few years ago, we were having a severe thunderstorm. Lots of rain and wind. I think the sirens went off, but Jeremy and I weren't all that concerned. NOT because we are 'just use to it', but because you just learn the feel of a storm. My aunt, who had just moved to town from Oklahoma, had not been here long enough to understand this. In Oklahoma, when the sirens go off, people hunker down no matter what.
Last night, we had some weather move into the area. We kept ourselves busy watching Doctor Who on Netflix, but both of us kept an eye on the living room windows. We could see the storm coming from the North. It was a dark gray off in the distance, and as the sun started to set in the west everything was cast in an eerie orange glow against the backdrop of an angry gray sky. The wind would pick up and have all the trees swishing around and then die down to a deadly calm.
This...this....did not feel right to me. And I knew, without the sirens telling me, that the weather that was coming was bad. Luckily for us, the worst of it stayed to the east of us. We watched the whole thing move from the North to the East and then to the South. What we did get was a lot of wind. And when Lola wanted to go outside, I went with her just to make sure she didn't get blown away. Honestly, the wind didn't feel too bad to me out there. But it still made me very anxious to be outside. I was telling Lola to hurry up and do her business, but I sure am glad that she didn't even get off the concrete of our patio because a downdraft came out of no where and snapped a huge branch off our mesquite tree. Lola and I both jumped out of our skins and hurried inside.
After I hollered for Jeremy, he stepped outside to check the damage and make sure the branch wasn't snagged on any power lines. I watched from the window, safely inside, as he took down our bird feeders and studied the branch and the sky. It was making me way too nervous to have him out there so I finally cracked the back door and called him inside. Again, I was just feeling all kinds of wrong about the weather. It wasn't a normal thunderstorm, at all.
It's the end of the school year. My facebook and instagram feeds have been overflowing with photos of graduations, from Kindergarten all the way up through college, and all the fun parties that go with graduating. It has me thinking about my own high school graduation.
There I am..in all my awful close-toed shoe glory. We actually weren't allowed to wear open toed shoes. And they were suppose to be either black or brown. If these rules were not followed they could and would yank you from walking the stage. I'm fairly certain the dress code rules have been loosened up since then.
Speaking of rules, we weren't suppose to walk across the football field to visit with family and friends. If you'll notice in photo#1, I was in fact across the football field to visit with my family. And I did get busted for it. Luckily they still let me walk.
This guy was around even way back then. He had no beard. What was that all about? We had been dating for nearly a year by this time and already engaged.
And THIS guy! This is my cousin Ryan, attending my high school graduation sitting on our Grandma's lap. He graduated high school last weekend.