Saturday, February 6, 2016

Breathing. Watching. Waiting.


I bet y'all thought I had won the lottery and ran away to start my life of luxury.

Sadly, no.

Far from it, in fact. I've been very busy living my numbingly normal, overly responsible, slightly boring life.

I feel a twinge of guilt for feeling any resentment towards my life. When I really stop to think about it, I'm very lucky. We are doing well for ourselves, all things considered. Of course, I'm always striving to put us in a better position. Always telling myself I don't need to buy that, I should save the money instead. Always prioritizing the next household project or bill to be paid off.

But I'm starting to think that line of thinking is a fallacy. Why must we always be striving for the next level of security? Is there even such a thing as complete security and safety? And if so, do we really truly want it? Because what is the cost of that kind of life?

Deadly monotony.

I feel stuck in a labyrinth of my own making, where the walls all look exactly the same and there is never ever a curve in the road. And I run, and I run, trying to get to the end. But there is no end. There is just more of the same exact thing. It stretches on, forever.

And so I am tired. Tired of running to nowhere. Tired of the same scenery. Tired of dealing with the same issues. Tired of having the same concerns. I am just tired of always trying so hard...just to be in the same spot the next day.

OOhhh, please forgive me for being so dramatic. This really isn't normal for me. But it's what I've been feeling lately. It's probably hormonally induced (please note, I can blame my mood on PMS...you can not).
 



Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Tonight is the night


So...I heard the State of the Union speech was on last night. I mean, I didn't really hear anything about what the President actually said. But I do know that the First Lady wore a lovely Marigold dress (please see my talking point about always dressing cute in my previous post). #priorities #wehavethem

But I don't want to talk politics tonight. Tonight I want to talk about the Powerball. Have you bought your ticket?

1.5 bbbiiiilllllllliiiiooonnnn dollars.


According to ABC News, "If you win the powerball tonight, you will be richer than Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, and Madonna". That's a lot of pressure, yo.

Where would I even begin?

Well, first I'd go swimming in it.


Then I'd buy a private island with it, so I can swim in actual water.

Excuse me, you on the elephant, can you please back away from my island? Kthnksbie
Can pugs swim?


Ok. Good.

And there would be this.


And, ok, some of this (because I'm not totally selfish).



Get ready, people! I am gonna' be fabulous.



Thursday, December 31, 2015

Well, It's New Years Eve


I don't really do resolutions anymore. What's the point, right? I never, ever keep them. Instead of looking forward, I've been looking back on this year. It hasn't been sensational..and now-a-days, thanks to social media, to have anything less can sometimes make a person feel inadequate. But it has been a good year.

For one, I'm still alive! Hey-YO! That's something, right?

I'm still married to the love of my life.

All of my babies are still happy and healthy, even if they are showing their age a little.

I still have my job. It's was a little dicey this year.

I still have my adorable, cozy, love cottage. Even if the storage space is reaching max capacity.

We purchased not one, but TWO, vehicles this year.

I've finally found the perfect technique of curling my hair with the straightener.

I'm pretty excited that we are at the point in our adult lives where we can replace a water heater without charging it.

I still have fab health insurance...thankfully, since Jeremy had to have surgery this year (it was minor, although the bill would not have been).

I've grown closer to the women in my family.

I drank a beer (or part of a beer) with my husband and my sister and my cousin, after visiting the very peaceful FT. Worth Botanical Gardens.

I made my first quilt top with my brand new sewing machine my mom and Grandma bought for me.

We grew our own vegetables...which we used in our dinner salads! Fresh cherry tomatoes are the bomb.

I broke the 10,000 word mark on my novel. Who knows how long it will take me to finish it, if I ever do. But you know what, I'm ok with that.

Overall, it's been a fantastic year. And I didn't have to make and/or keep one New Year's resolution to make it so. It just was. I'm hoping for more of the same in 2016. I want to keep my family closer, hug my babies longer, sew all the things..even if I mess it up, grow more veggies, keep working on the love cottage, write more, create more, laugh more, and love more.

And, in 2016, I wish for you to find more of whatever makes you happy. Whatever lights up your world and fills up all your cracks. Be it big or small, a new start or a continuation of the same, cheap or expensive. Whatever it is that brings you the most joy...I want you to find more of that.

 
Happy New Year's!



Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The hottest damn president this country has ever seen


This presidential race is getting a little ridiculous. Have you seen the Republican candidate line-up? They have their own baseball team standing up there on stage. And the quality of some of those candidates has me crying and laughing both at the same time.

The sheer craziness of it all got me thinking....if Donald Trump can join this circus...why can't I?

SO...I'm un-officially officially announcing that I will be running for President of the United States in 2016. I'll more than likely run on the Democratic side, but only because the line ups of the parties look like a very sad game of Red Rover. I just want to help even things out.

I know I'm late to the game, but I promise I have about as much to offer as Mr. Trump...so please hear me out.

If I'm elected as President I promise there will be Pugs in the white house.


As your President, I promise to always be dressed cute. I know it did WONDERS for First Lady Michelle Obama to always have your outfit on fleek.

As to gun control, I would make everyone throw all the guns into the ocean. Unless they are pink and glittery. Those can stay.

As President, I would start the tradition of Presidential jewels. Because everyone needs a tiara.




Once elected President, I would decree that every presidential cabinet meeting would have mandatory margaritas.



As President of the United Statues, I would add a 'We are all acting like five year olds' clause to the Affordable Health care Act that would state that "boo-boo kisses" are an acceptable form of treatment by all doctors and or nurses, and will be free under the AHA.

As President, I would offer to sit in the Rose Garden at the first of every month and yell 'OFF WITH THEIR HEADS' at tourists. But just for funsies.


If I am elected President, I would make the salad knife the official kitchen gadget of the nation.



As President, I would make bang trims free for everyone, no matter where you are in this country. Everyone should have access to affordable hair maintenance.

As to immigration, I say let them all in. The more the merrier.

As President, I would outlaw war. Instead, any opposing parties will be required to hug it out.

Considering what other candidates are promising, I think I have a pretty strong platform. And I am no politician. I am of the people and FOR the people...unless you don't like pink and then I'm voting you off the island.

 
VOTE FOR ME IN 2016!
If a rich asshole can do it, a poor asshole can do it too!
 

Sunday, December 20, 2015

That time I almost murdered my husband


Every Wednesday night, my husband goes over to his friends house to jam. And every Wednesday night my husband does not get home until very early in the morning. This is nothing new. This has been going on for years.

And I've pretty much become accustom to spending the evening and going to bed by myself. It hasn't really bothered me....until recently. I don't know what exactly has changed. I'm thinking its because Duke, my guard dog, is getting older and can't really hear anything anymore. I know he wouldn't be able to hear anyone sneaking into the house. Sometimes, when we get home from work we can walk right up on him sleeping before he wakes up. So, my paranoia has been flaring up.

Last Wednesday night, I woke up thinking I had heard my husbands voice. I sit up slightly in bed, waiting to hear or see him coming down the hallway. But it's quiet in the house. I look at the floor, Duke is sound asleep. I start thinking maybe I didn't hear him...maybe I was dreaming it..and so I lay back down. I might have even dozed back off but then I wake up to a THUMP in the living room.

My heart starts racing. I still don't hear my husbands voice and he hasn't come down the hallway....but someone is in my house! I quickly scramble out of bed and noisily wrench open the night stand drawer on my husbands side, I want whoever is in my house to hear me reaching for something (hopefully they think its a big ass gun). I know he keeps a few knives and things in there. I grab the first thing I see, a box cutter, and move out into the hallway.

By this time, my husband has heard me in the bedroom...as he puts it he heard panic in the bedroom...and he pops around the corner of the living room, 'Babe? It's just me'.

I clutch my heart with free hand, 'You scared the SHIT out of me!'

He came down the hallway and hugged me and can see the night stand drawer open. 'Uh, what were you looking for in there?'

'A knife,' I say into his chest. He laughs.

After he finished hauling all his gear into the house, which was the thump I heard, he crawls into bed. I was facing away from him but I started laughing and so does he. He says into the dark, 'I'm glad I don't keep a gun in that drawer'.

The next day, as I was home after work waiting for him to get home, my cell phone rings. It's my husband.

Me: Hey Babe.

Him: I just wanted to let you know I am in the driveway and about to enter the house...please do not try to murder me.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Love Cottage or Money Pit


Things are just getting back to normal from the re-tiling job that was not planned. Or, well, it was sort of planned...but not by choice. It was the re-tiling job we were forced to plan.

Earlier, in October, we attempted to replace the faucet in our shower. What should have taken 10 minutes and $10....took the entire day and ended with a hole in the wall. You see, the idiots that owned this house before us had done their own "updates" and one) they concreted the plumbing into place, and two) they didn't put any concrete board back up, but instead tiled over the concrete stuck in there for the plumbing.

Does it make any sense? No? It didn't to us either.All I know is that tiles started falling off the wall and next thing I know the husband and I could hold hands through the wall. There was just nothing behind the tiles. I'm not sure how they stayed on the wall for as long as they have.

Anyway, at the time, we had anticipated for a 10 minute/$10 job. We were not prepared to retile anything. But we couldn't leave a whole in our wall..so what to do? This is the best we could come up with on such short notice.


Yeah, I know. Lovely, right? It was....butt ass ugly. And not exactly waterproof. BUT, it worked in that moment and held until the beginning of this month. Although starting the bathroom remodel was not on the to-do list for this year, our hand was forced. So, with crow bar in hand...and a little trepidation, the husband started the retiling of our tub surround.

 
 

 We planned for it to be a three day job. But....as usual...the plumbing delayed us by an entire day. So, after a lot of waiting for stuff to dry just to put more stuff on that had to dry, and a handful of showers at my mom's house (thanks, mom!)...our shower was finally put back together.



 We have tentatively planned to finish the bathroom remodel sometime next year...unless this Money Pit throws another wrench in our plans.



Monday, December 7, 2015

Sabotage


Did you sing this post title a la The Beastie Boys? No? What is wrong with you?

I have been trying to slowly get back in the habit of working out and eating right. But I have found myself slipping back into old habits. I can't seem to keep myself from eating. This is a habit that I was doing really good at controlling. I was talking myself out of the second plate of food. I was convincing myself that it was ok to throw food away (I know, I know...wasteful...but when it comes to my health and my food addiction...I'm doing it).

But lately, I've been sabotaging myself. It has been all about the mindless eating. I'm eating donuts (after I already had a bagel). I'm eating chocolate bars. I'm eating second servings. That last slice of garlic bread? Oh yeah, it's going in my mouth (#twss). I'm eating Halloween candy. I'm eating all the Christmas cookies.

Put it in front of me....I'm eating it.

I cannot stop myself.

And the scale is telling on me. It keeps creeping up and up and up.

So, I'm talking about it. Putting it out there. If you see me with another chocolate bar, please feel free to slap it out of my hand. If we happen to go out for dinner, feel free to suggest that I get the salad...and then half it into a to-go box. Really. I need to re-train myself once again to do these things.

Because I refuse to let myself go back.