Let it Shine

#flipthescript #letitshine #lovenothate #itstartswithme #imnosinger

A video posted by @justjinny on Nov 16, 2015 at 1:29pm PST

Facebook really has me down today. So I'm trying to cheer myself up. I don't really like to sing in front of anyone, but I thought it was worth sharing. #singwithme #idareyou

Looking out, looking in, looking up - Happy New Years

I bundled up to venture out in the backyard to snap a picture of the sky. I didn't want to do it because the sky is a never ending sea of nothing today. I wanted to capture something beautiful....something I consider beautiful. A lovely sunset of pinks, oranges, and purples. Or whispy white clouds against a backdrop of blue. But there won't be any of that today....just cold, stark white.

But as I wondered around my little back yard, with my camera pointed at the sky, I did find a little beauty in the stillness of the cold. And I couldn't help but notice how lovely the ice covered branches were against the bright white sky.

It made me think about this new year, how everything can be considered new. A true blank slate. A quiet moment to just stop, take a moment to breath and decide how you want to start this new chapter. And it also made me think of this last year. I've been telling myself 2014 has been the year of the holding pattern. Not much has changed, on the outside. But I feel like I've learned more about myself this year. I've stripped away many of my long held notions of how people should act, how I should act and my confusion about why those things didn't make me happy. Things that didn't make sense for a very long time have started snapping into place. I'm sure my friends and family are just about sick of me using the term "introvert" but I am just so excited to finally have some idea of why I have always acted the way I do...why I feel the way I feel. And the more I learn about what it means to be introverted, the more comfortable I have become with saying no, with walking away, with staying in, with telling people what I need.

I can't say that walking away from things and having no one notice hasn't hurt my feelings. I might be introverted but I still crave to be needed and wanted and important to others. I'm still dealing with my feelings of being inadequate, feelings of rejection when I'm not recognized for the things I do. Those things are on me to deal with, not the people around me.

I can say that having a better understanding of how I gather and dispense my energy makes a world of difference to my psyche. I've learned to pay attention to things and people that make me feel good, that make me happy. I'm still trying to get better at or continue to acknowledge those in my life that I love and appreciate. And I've become better at getting rid of things and people that stress me out or drain my energy.

Overall I am coming into this year peacefully hopeful. I'm not looking to dramatically overhaul my life, I don't want to make any grand resolutions or plans. Always reaching for the next thing makes me tired and wears me out. So, I resolve to find my happiness in the very moment that I'm living, I don't need any more or less than what I have right now.

I hope you find your perfect balance this year of peace, love, and hope this year.

Stay Positive!

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. ~William Arthur Ward
I have been trying to make a conscious effort this year to be happy; to think positive; to be thankful. I have a tendency to worry too much; to get very anxious; to become melancholy.

The facts are:

* I have a great life
* My home is cute, cozy, and safe
* I'm good at my job, it provides us with a comfortable living and out of this world insurance
* I have wonderful pets that are healthy and happy
* We have lots and lots of nice things
* I am married to my best friend who thinks I hung the moon
* I love my family and they love me
* We are healthy and getting more so all the time
* I am able to, more so now than ever before, stay connected to the people that matter most to me

I am blessed. So, when the dishwasher starts to leak, I will be thankful that I even have a dishwasher. And when some extra feature on our seven year old SUV goes out (like the seat warmer), I will be thankful that we still have a well running vehicle. Or if I have to deal with some rude person at work, I will smile and be thankful that I have a job to go to and that I am getting paid to deal with their nonsense.

I will smile more. I will say that my day is going GREAT more. I will keep my snarky opinion to myself, unless I think it might really make a difference (which it usually doesn't). I will tell myself that it will all work out more (because it usually does). And if I have to, I'll fake it until I make it.