Thematic Photographic 51 - Single

A new photo challenge I found through Gaze Sweetly. My first photo to share, but I'm already looking forward to the next. Come and play along at Written Inc.

My Inner Critic

I have this voice inside my head. It's not a very nice voice. It reminds me about all my short comings. It whispers about my talent, or lack of it. It whispers about my weight and how far I still have left to go. It whispers that I haven't done anything with my life.

When it was time for my 10 year high school reunion, my inner critic laughed cruelly. It said, 'What are you even going to talk about?' It told me I wasn't a person worth knowing about. I allowed my inner critic to make me feel like less. And at the reunion I didn't talk much about myself and my life. What WAS there to talk about? I didn't go to college, I've been at the same job since I left high school, I've never moved from the town I grew up in, I don't have any kids to talk about. I haven't been anywhere, I haven't done anything. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.

Many times before I have listened to my inner critic as I looked at myself in the mirror. I listened as it told me that I was beyond saving, that I would be fat forever. It said I didn't have the will power to change my bad habits. It told me that I wasn't pretty any longer. It told me that it was a good thing that I was married already because no one else would want me. And every time I failed at any sort of weight loss, my inner critic laughed at me. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.

And as my love for photography has grown, so has that little voice inside my head. I don't really have any talent, it says. No one is going to want those photos, it whispers. Any time I think I might be able to do something with this passion that I have, my inner critic just laughs at me. Who would hire you? Why would they want someone with NO experience? You just aren't good enough. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.

Trying to keep it in perspective

Me...May 20, 2007



Me...May 16, 2009



I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Wordless Wednesday

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. ~Max Eastman

For my sister..

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

My sister graduated on Saturday. Finally, she says. She was ready to be done with it and be on to something else. I hit the ground running on Saturday running around trying to help my Mom get things taken care of for the party afterwards. By the time I sat down at the graduation I was sweating. It was great to see her walk across that stage but I was ready for the party (did I mention I hadn't eaten anything all day?)



At the party, my job was to take pictures and make sure people signed the photo album. It didn't go exactly how I had planned, but it all worked out in the end..as those things usually do. I finally had something to eat and had a glass or two of wine. Megan loved my gift (it's the painting in the picture above). I didn't paint it myself, I wish I had talent like that. But, I knew it would be something she would enjoy in her new place. Everyone seemed to know exactly what to get her (in a lot of cases, money was the name of the game).



The very next day she ran off to camp. She'll be working there for the summer so we probably won't see much of her. And then after camp she is moving to Dallas. The time I was dreading will be here. Since that post, things have changed slightly. I'll still be sad to see her go but I am no longer scared for her. I know that where ever she goes, she'll do just fine. She'll find her way, and make new friends, and discover how to handle things herself. There might be mis-steps, set backs, near disasters...who doesn't have stories like that from their beginnings? But those events will soon turn into the stories we laugh about later.



“This is my wish for her: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss her lips, sunsets to warm her heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for her eyes to see, friendships to brighten her being, faith so that she can believe, confidence for when she doubts, courage to know herself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete her life.”

I know she will go out into the world and find all of that....and probably much more.

Wordless Wednesday

Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling. ~Pam Brown

A girl's weekend

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. ~Grace Pulpit

I hauled myself off to the metroplex to spend a weekend with my girlfriend, Jennifer. I hate driving in Texas..it takes forever to get anywhere..lol. Anyway, there wasn't anything important planned for the weekend. She and I just wanted to spend some time together.

Friday night she took me to the Blue Goose and we planted ourselves at the bar. We both ordered a margarita on the rocks. And she tells the guy behind the bar, 'Don't kill me, Mike'. Hm? What? She explains that he makes his margaritas super strong. *lifted eyebrow* Really. Well, he can kill me all he wants. And he did. Jennifer TRIED to warn me, I just didn't listen. I don't know how many Mike G. margarita's I had...too dang many. I was feeling pretty good until I got back to her house. It was one of those 'everything was great until I laid down' situations. Yeah, the journey was MUCH more fun then the destination. I'm so glad that someone took pictures BEFORE I was totally blitzed.

Saturday, I woke up with an aching head. Big surprise, right? I spent the first half of the day sucking down water and coffee and aspirin trying to get my head back in the game. I was on a ride-a-long with a single mother. We went here and there and everywhere. I asked her later if her weekends were ALWAYS like this and she was like 'uh, yeah...pretty much'. It amazes me. She took me to this place called Charming Charlies and as I walked in I swear I had died and gone to heaven..the angels were singing and they sounded a lot like Britney Spears. Charming Charlies was a dangerous, wonderful place that had everything a girl needed..shoes, clothing, bags, hair accessories, and jewelry..lots and lots of jewelry. Everything was arranged by color..blues, greens, reds, purples, oranges. *sigh* It was the best. I behaved myself and ONLY bought a wallet, two necklaces, a bracelet, and a shirt. I had to put things back! It was hard. I also ended up getting a pair of carpi's and two shirts at Old Navy. All in all, a very successful shopping day.

By the time we had to be at the baseball field (her son, Jeremy, was playing) it was in the low 60's, windy and rainy. Perfect! We froze our toes off because we were both wearing flip flops. It was the longest hour and a half of my life! And we didn't win..boo. But the coach of the other team was nice to look at..very cute..until he started yelling at his kids on the field. *sigh* I don't know WHY he had to go and ruin it for us, because they were winning. Why so serious? I mean, really. We ended the evening by watching Bride Wars. Cute movie but ridiculous..of course. I have to say it was better than Transporter 3, which we watched before the baseball game. The only good thing about THAT movie was a shirtless Jason Statham.

I really had a good time, but we always have a good time when we get together. She amazes me with her strength and determination. No matter how hard it is, or how slow the recovery might be, she always gets up and dusts herself off. I admire that and I hope that if she ever needs a little help getting back up that I'll be around to offer a hand.

My Safe Place

Where we love is home ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Over at Shutter Sisters they asked us to show them our nest, "that cozy corner of your house, your home, your soul where you understand everything's going to be so all right, no matter where you fly, no matter where you soar".

This is my home, my nest, my safe place:

Stretching Further

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. ~T. Guillemets

A couple of weekends ago I helped my sister clean out her room. We are trying to gear up for a yard sale so she was sorting through her things. Some of it went into the yard sale pile...and some of it went into my keep pile. lol. One of the things I kept was a yoga dvd..A.M. Yoga for Your Week. I talked Jeremy into trying it with me (I didn't have to twist his arm very hard).

The dvd is made up of five 20-minute sessions, each focusing on different things. When Jeremy gets home we take the dogs for a quick walk and then we pop in the dvd. We've only done it yesterday and today so far, but we have both enjoyed it a lot. We sort of laughed about the whole doing an A.M. workout in the evening, but there is something to be said for doing a little yoga after work. It's a time for us to turn off the computer and TV, to put down our cell phones, and just relax. It's something that I am beginning to really look forward to. And I'm so glad that Jeremy is doing it with me. I can't wait to see what the rest of the dvd holds and I'm already looking for other yoga dvd's for us to try out.