Monday, October 22, 2007
Sister, O Sister
"Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer." ~Louise Glück
As my sister and I IM'ed each other today she mentioned to me that she was looking at apartments. 'Great! Fabulous!' I thought. And then she told me that she was not looking here. I have been trying to prepare myself for this. I knew she wouldn't be staying here once she finished college. It wasn't a maybe, it was for sure. So, why do I feel like a bomb has been dropped in my heart?
She is looking at places in New Jersey, Connecticut, and New York. I can hope for some place just a little closer, but I see why it must be that way. She is a drama major and where else do you go with a degree like that? New York, New York. She will be finished with school in August and then after that I imagine it will be simply a matter of saving enough money for her to make her escape.
I feel like I am being selfish, wanting her to stay close. It's not like we hang out all the time, but it is nice to know that when we DO want to hang out we are just a drive down the road from each other. I feel like a mother and big sister rolled all into one. She is so young, there is lots she doesn't know yet. What if she runs out of gas? Or gets locked out of her apartment? Who is going to be there to help her if she needs it?
*sigh* I still have a year at least, if not two, before she leaves. I'm torn between sadness that she is going and pride that she isn't scared to do so.