I have this voice inside my head. It's not a very nice voice. It reminds me about all my short comings. It whispers about my talent, or lack of it. It whispers about my weight and how far I still have left to go. It whispers that I haven't done anything with my life.
When it was time for my 10 year high school reunion, my inner critic laughed cruelly. It said, 'What are you even going to talk about?' It told me I wasn't a person worth knowing about. I allowed my inner critic to make me feel like less. And at the reunion I didn't talk much about myself and my life. What WAS there to talk about? I didn't go to college, I've been at the same job since I left high school, I've never moved from the town I grew up in, I don't have any kids to talk about. I haven't been anywhere, I haven't done anything. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.
Many times before I have listened to my inner critic as I looked at myself in the mirror. I listened as it told me that I was beyond saving, that I would be fat forever. It said I didn't have the will power to change my bad habits. It told me that I wasn't pretty any longer. It told me that it was a good thing that I was married already because no one else would want me. And every time I failed at any sort of weight loss, my inner critic laughed at me. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.
And as my love for photography has grown, so has that little voice inside my head. I don't really have any talent, it says. No one is going to want those photos, it whispers. Any time I think I might be able to do something with this passion that I have, my inner critic just laughs at me. Who would hire you? Why would they want someone with NO experience? You just aren't good enough. I let my inner critic convince me of all these things.