Sabotage

Did you sing this post title a la The Beastie Boys? No? What is wrong with you?

I have been trying to slowly get back in the habit of working out and eating right. But I have found myself slipping back into old habits. I can't seem to keep myself from eating. This is a habit that I was doing really good at controlling. I was talking myself out of the second plate of food. I was convincing myself that it was ok to throw food away (I know, I know...wasteful...but when it comes to my health and my food addiction...I'm doing it).

But lately, I've been sabotaging myself. It has been all about the mindless eating. I'm eating donuts (after I already had a bagel). I'm eating chocolate bars. I'm eating second servings. That last slice of garlic bread? Oh yeah, it's going in my mouth (#twss). I'm eating Halloween candy. I'm eating all the Christmas cookies.

Put it in front of me....I'm eating it.

I cannot stop myself.

And the scale is telling on me. It keeps creeping up and up and up.

So, I'm talking about it. Putting it out there. If you see me with another chocolate bar, please feel free to slap it out of my hand. If we happen to go out for dinner, feel free to suggest that I get the salad...and then half it into a to-go box. Really. I need to re-train myself once again to do these things.

Because I refuse to let myself go back.