Wednesday, September 24, 2014

In my bag of introvert tricks

This morning I was listening to the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning Show, like I do every morning, and Big Al had a quick bit where he offered a dating tip. Today's dating tip was to have a pre-determined set of topics/jokes/questions in your pocket ready to pull out to spur on conversation. I realized that even though I have not been a part of the dating scene for many, many years I have been using this trick for a couple of years now.

Let's be honest, no one likes that awkward silence of lulled conversation. And for someone like myself, it can be excruciatingly painful to sit in the silence. So, when I know I'm going to be going out amongst the masses where I might be called upon to actually socialize I prep myself with a few topics for conversation.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I love to talk. Anyone who knows me well might be confused because I can talk a person's ear off. But I have to be really comfortable with that person or group of people to be Miss Chatty.

In general, when I am in a group of people that I might not know well or meeting with someone who is more an acquaintance, I'd much rather be the listener. And I've known other people who do not have a problem with filling up the silence (which I love, because it takes the burden off of me). But when there is a hitch in the conversation flow, I don't have to be a complete mute if I prepare myself with a few topics to discuss.

Now, in the heat of the moment (i.e. being put on the spot), my pre-determined talking points might fly right out of my head. In those instances I try to remind myself that asking the other person questions is always a good back up plan.

Do you see how much work can go into a "simple" get together or dinner?! It exhausts me just writing about it...which is why I don't do it all that often. Knowing this about myself makes me appreciate my family and friends that I am comfortable with or who gladly carry the conversation all the more.

So, introvert or not, what's in your bag of tricks for dealing with people?


  1. smile big and remind myself I get to cocoon later ;-)

  2. I tend to be a nervous talker, so when I meet new people I talk about the most RANDOM stuff.
    But hey, I figure, if they still want to talk to me after that craziness, then cool! They might be a decent person. :)