3 Embarrassing Moments

Day 29. Most Embarrassing Moment

1. I overflowed a friends toilet once {too much TP}. I was pretty young..and I panicked. Did I think to look under the sink for a plunger? Heck to the no. Do you think I fessed up? HHHeeecckkk no.

2. I walked into a utility box at the parking lot of my work. I know what you're thinking...put the cell phone away, right? This was pre-cell phone and/or social media. I just had a really bad habit of walking with my head down.

3. That one time I couldn't get the keys out of the ignition.

N is for...Never gonna live it down

Day 14. Funniest memory from childhood

I have to be honest. Prompts like these are hard for me..I don't have a very good memory so things started getting very hazy as the years go on. I asked my sister what she thought, hoping maybe she would remember something I didn't. She came back with the exact memory I knew she would.

It's one of her favorites that she still liked to bring up.

A long time ago, when I was in junior high, we lived in these apartments. The stairs clung to the side of the buildings, with no roof, and then there was a landing that ran the length of the building to get to the two upstairs apartment doors, with a roof. One winter day it had apparently snowed..or sleeted..and then frozen over. The stairs were pretty treacherous and you had to be very careful traveling up and down them. Once we got up the stairs and to the landing, as my mom was trying to get the door unlocked, I decided I would do a little "ice skating" on the slicked over landing.

Oh, I thought I was so fancy as I glided across the thin sheet of ice. Pretending to do twirls, like I was Nancy Kerrigan herself (without the busted knee).

Until I wasn't gliding or twirling. My shoe snagged on something and I tumbled over and bonked my head on the ground. I wasn't hurt, actually I was laughing and so was my sister. She STILL laughs about it, even to this day.

L is for...Let it Go

Day 12. Best advice you've been given

*sings* Let it go! Let it go!

Admit it, the song is in your head too. Forget Ebola, Frozen has the whole 'infectious contagion' thing locked down. That shit gets on everything and spreads like wild fire.

I can remember, years ago, having a discussion with my mom about my dad. My dad has been pretty hands off, absent...dead beat, if you will..for most of my life. I was so angry, for so long, at him..at the situation he put us in. I can remember my mom telling me that I needed to get over it, to let it go and forgive him. I think she may have even said I was being a tad righteous. Which I was.

Eventually, I did learn to let it go. I would never do what my dad did, to anyone that depended on me, but I have my own shortcomings and failings. We all do. I was tired of letting the past control me when I couldn't control it. There was nothing I could do about what had happened, I couldn't change him or even understand his motives.

Since then I've had a few encounters with my dad, a phone call and one Thanksgiving with him. It was nice not to have the simmering anger under the surface. He had no more control over me, not that he ever wanted it (which is the real kicker about it all). I still don't have a relationship with my dad and I'm pretty ok with that. He is too. Maybe we have both learned to let it go.

Feeling Nostalgic

Reading today's post at Dooce.com gave me the inspiration to make my own video. I think about Squeak all the time, sometimes I have to catch myself from calling out to him when I get home from work and I still fold my legs up to make room for him down at the foot of the bed.

 
Squeaklove from jinny swinehart on Vimeo.

Hunting 101: Boonies Style

I know I keep mentioning it..on Twitter and Facebook..but I am so sad when I found out that The Bloggess grew up just 10 minutes from where I live and that we didn't know each other growing up. But at the same time it makes me proud that she is from around here and made me look back on my own upbringing here in West Texas.

I have never considered myself to be a country girl. Ask my husband, I am NOT a country girl. Even so, there are things you just can't avoid when you grow up IN the country. Like hunting...and everything that goes along with it. My dad lived on a 100-acre spread about 45 minutes from town. There was nothing on all of this land except for a tiny house, a large shed, and animal pens. That's it. I hated going out there for weekends. I was a teenager! I had a social life and my dad had a party line...oh the inhumanity! There was a lot of hunting that when on out there. Sometimes from my dad's front porch, just grab a shotgun!

But out there in the sticks they didn't need guns to hunt. Oh no. One time, two of the kids that belonged to two of my dad's friends (it was a party every day out there) decided to hunt for Dove. No guns? No problem. Mark, who was 18 and...husky, tossed a rock into the middle of a grove of trees. This was just to startle the dove he'd seen fly into the trees. I can't say why that stupid bird flew DOWN instead of flying UP, but it flew down out of the trees and Mark reached out and caught the dove. Just reached out and grabbed it. WITH HIS BARE HANDS. And then, calm as you please, he handed that dove to a little 8 year old girl named Tatum. That's right, the girls name was Tatum Rainwater. NO, I'm not making it up. Anyway, he handed the dove to little 8 year old Tatum who snapped the birds neck. Like, no big deal.

I swear I heard dueling banjos off in the distance.

It's story time!

I've had my fair share of drinks since I've been of legal {and not so legal} drinking age. I've been tipsy and buzzed, I've been drunk and unable to remember how I got from point A to point B. I've had shots and mixed drinks {no beer..beer is gross}.

But, I have never been sick from drinking. I've never spent the night on the bathroom floor swearing that I would never drink again. I've never worshipped the porcelain God.

Until...

The Blue Goose in Lewisville, Tx.

I was up that way visiting my bestie for the weekend. She brought me to the Blue Goose to sit at the bar and have some dinner and drinks. I love me some margaritas so that's what we were drinking. And my friend told me that you had to tell the bartender to make a 'nice' margarita or they would knock you over.

Now, my BFF is tall and skinny..and I thought for sure she was JUST a light weight. I didn't listen. I did not HEED my friends warnings. And I told the bartender, Mike G, to give me his best shot. And he did. And I sucked those babies down with alarming speed. My friend, who was nursing her drinks just watched me with wide eyes.

By the end of the evening I was feeling....not so good. And my friend (and some other friends that had joined us by this time) wanted to go to another bar. I knew I wouldn't make it so my friend drove me back to her place and tucked me into her daughters bed and went back out (with my complete and total blessing).

As I laid there, in the darkness, I couldn't see anything but I could feel that the room was spinning. How is that even happening, I thought to myself. The spinning didn't stop no matter how tightly I closed my eyes (not that it mattered in the pitch black room)..it just got worse until I was so dizzy that I was going to be sick.

And I was sick. Thankfully not in the room. And thankfully only once. That seemed to cure the dizzies and I was able to go back to bed.

When my friend got back she popped in to check on me. From the darkness of her daughters room I moaned...'I threw up'.  I think she might have laughed at me. But I can't blame her..she TRIED to warn me.

Linking up for Texas Tuesday with J and Amanda.

Ye Olde Skating Rink

A few years ago my nephew had a birthday party at the local roller skating rink. I remember thinking that everything was so close together. It was too bright in the snacking area with the tables, which was too close to the small group of coin-operated arcade games. And the snack counter/skate rental counter were just so small. And the area to put your skates on..too small. And the ground was all hard..all of it...which doesn't really mesh well with gangly kids on skates. Small..small..small...too loud...all wrong.

Not like the skating rink I use to go to when I was young.

It was called 8 Wheels. And it was awesome. First off, the eating area/snack bar was huge. You could buy just about any kind of candy you wanted, popcorn, pickles, sodas. I specifically remember all the popcorn that kids would drop on the floor. The counter to get your skates was separate from the snack area or snack counter. There was also a counter with a display case to purchase wheels, stoppers, laces.

There were maybe three or four arcade games but the rest of that same wall was filled with lockers to put your shoes in. You would put the key, which had an orange top and attached to a bungy cord, around your wrist. Or around your skate..if you were cool. There were several mushroom benches, round..flat benches to change in and out of your skates. Or to socialize on...if you were cool.

The rink itself was big with a oval painted on it so you knew where to turn. And it was also great for the hocey pocey..because you could really put your wholeself into the oval on the floor. There was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. There was a DJ booth. Whoever those people were that worked the DJ booth...freakin' saints. I can only imagine what they had to put up with between song requests and kids thinking it was cool to talk to the DJ.

They had all kind of races. My favorite was the rope game. Two people held a rope across the floor and you would skate around and duck under it. If you fell or touched the rope you were out. The crowd would get smaller and smaller until it was just a few people. It was amazing what some of those people could do with their bodies..on skates, no less...to get under that rope.

*sigh* It's just a very fond part of my childhood.

I wish I had some pictures to share with y'all from that time. But usually parents would drop the kids off and go. At least, I don't remember my Mom being there much. And we didn't carry cameras around back then..or have cell phones. So, I don't think I have any pictures, not even at my moms.

8 Wheels is closed now..has been for many, many years. The new skating rink is in a different building, a newer building. But it's just not the same. Not sure if it's really so different or I'm just seeing it through tainted eyes.

Day Three: Your Neighborhood

March Photo-a-day

I've lived in the same neighborhood for nearly my entire life. Just about every day I drive by both my elementary schools..which happen to be across the street from each other..one private, the other public. I drive by the church I grew up in. I drive by my grandparents street, which is just around the corner from the church. I drive by several of the streets I've lived on before. I drive by my Mom's house. Nearly ever day, I walk past my old junior high and the football stadium I spent many a Friday evenings at growing up. They are both right across the street from where I work. And where I work is two blocks over from my very own street.  I live right down the road from the bowling alley, also a very popular hang out when I was a teenager.

You get the picture.

I've lived my entire life in about a 20 block radius. But I don't mind it. It's comforting to me.  I've had people stop me on the street to ask for directions and I love that I can tell them, without hesitation, how to get where they want to go.

I know this neighborhood.

And it knows me, throwing old memories at me at every turn.

How'd I do?

I was reading over the post I did last Jan. 1. I listed 13 goals for 2011. I was surprised by how many of those goals I actually reached in the last year...I'm not very good with my follow through.

1. A new dishwasher - DONE and I am in love with it. Seriously..I do the dishes nearly every day when I get off work. A clean sink makes me happy.

2. A new stove - DONE. It's shiny. All four burners work. It tells me when my oven is heated...and when the timer is done..and when the surface is still hot.

3. A Costume Birthday Party - I surprised my sister by driving to Dallas to attend her (and my cousin's) costumed birthday party. My friend and I were Daphne and Velma.

4. A kick ass concert - Originally we had plans to go see Linkin Park but their concert was rescheduled...and we weren't able to make it. Instead we saw Trivium, Megadeath, Godsmack, Black Label Society and Judas Priest.

5. A girl's weekend with the crazy ladies of my family -

6. Warrior Dash - This one I didn't do. So lame.

7. A trip with my sister - this trip also didn't happen. But we have big plans to do some traveling together this year.

8. Getting my toes in the sand - We were able to spend some time in Galveston where I listened to the waves, had a fruity drink, chased the seagulls and got my feet in the sand.

9. Cultivating my talent - I didn't do this one either.

10. Get a laptop - Done. I love my laptop.

11. Visit Lost Maples - another trip that wasn't to be. Maybe this year.

12. Go to the Texas Ren Fest -

13. Visit friends, family, relax, calm down, laugh until I cry, savor good food, remember my blessings every second -  I did some of that...but I hope to do lots, lots more this year..

August 11 2004

"Tomorrow is my 24th birthday. If anyone has had a worse case of the blahs, I'd like to know. I don't think my blah's have anything to do with my birthday. Actually, my birthday is something I have been looking forward to. I think my blah's are something I have been trying to fight off. My blah's are trying very hard to dive into a depression. I seem to only be able to maintain "happy" for a handful of weeks at a time before returning to this serious case of the blues. Even though I feel like I have taken some baby steps to improve my life I have this nagging critic inside telling me it's not enough. I have a hard time understanding why I can't just be happy, but I don't think depression listens to reason.

My body image is a big part of my unhappiness. I hate my body. I mean, I HATE it. I feel myself slipping back into the disgusted mind set. I don't want to look at myself naked and I certainly don't want Jeremy seeing me naked. I hate the way all my clothes fit me.

When did this happen to me?

When did I become this disgusting fat frump?

I am 24. I should be able to wear all those cute styles and cute shoes and look and feel sexy. You would think my self-loathing would be enough to drive me to do something about my body, but no. I can't even work up the drive or self-restraint it takes to diet and exercise. So I'm fat and lazy and pathetic and disgusting. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I could be easier on myself, but I can't keep candy coating it.

I am fat and I keep getting fatter.

I don't want to be the fat girl. I want clothes to fit me. I don't want to see my fat rolls all the time. I want to be able to walk with my head up, but right now I am just too ashamed of how I have let myself go."

I found this in a journal stuffed inside my nightstand drawer. Did you cringe reading it? Because I did. A lot of self-hate going on. It took two more years before I was ready to actually do something, really do something about how I felt about my body. And it took me three more years of slowly changing my lifestyle, of gaining ground only ounces at a time, to finally reach my goal weight. Seven years, seven whole years. I wish I could go back and tell myself how much happier I was going to be once I got to the other side of this journey. Maybe it would have happened sooner if I could.

But it makes me think about all the other people out there that are struggling with their self-image. Maybe they are, at this very moment, in the same place I was when I wrote that journal entry. So, I can't go back and tell myself anything but I can tell you...this is not the end of your story. There are many, many more chapters. Its ok if it takes you some time to get through THIS chapter, just know..that you WILL get through it. Can't wait to see you on the other side of YOUR journey..no matter how long it takes you to get there.

Rubbernecking into the past

Yesterday, while doing the daily crossword puzzle {I like to think it keeps my brain from turning to useless mush], one of the clues was 'rubberneck' {the word for the puzzle was 'gawk'..not really pertinent to this story but I know some of y'all would want to know}.

My ADD brain took off and I started thinking about the first time I ever heard the word rubberneck. It was in the seventh grade, during choir class. The choir class room was tiered so when you came in the door you were actually at the top of the risers. You had to walk down the stairs, stash your backpack, and make your way to your spot on the built in risers {short girls in the front..holla}. This left the door to our backs and anytime anyone would come in everyone wanted to turn and look. Well, our choir teacher would have none of that. She didn't want to lose our focus for a second and so she would reprimand us and tell us to stop 'rubbernecking'.

And that had me thinking about my seventh grade choir teacher. She was actually very cool. She told us a story about her trip to Paris. For some reason, she ended up staying on the ground at the Eiffel tower, while her travel companions went up. Maybe she was afraid of heights? Anyway, a man tried to ask her for directions in french {duh, they are in Paris under the Eiffel tower}. Problem was, she didn't speak fluent french..and neither did that man. But he didn't speak english either..his native language was German, which she didn't know. However, the both could speak Spanish. So, there she was, in Paris, under the Eiffel tower..an American who couldn't speak french or German..talking to a German who couldn't speak french or english...speaking spanish.

I also thought about that years UIL competition. Don't ask me what UIL stands for..I don't know. But, all the choirs in the area get together to compete against each other. We were performing 'All Things Bright and Beautiful' and found out while waiting our turn that there were two other groups that performed this song and received poor ratings. The pressure was on but our teacher didn't seem concerned. Now, I know I have mentioned..maybe once or twice..that I have terrible stage fright so as we lined up to head on stage my knees starting shaking and I felt the tears start to prick my eyes. I didn't want to be a baby about this, but I was very, very nervous. My choir teacher came to calm me down. She pulled from her pocket a little black velvet bag and told me she had her lucky charm with her and she would bring it out and put it on top of the piano to help make me feel better. We made our way onto the stage and as I stood there trying to remember to breath, she placed her lucky charm on the piano and turned to catch my eye..and she winked at me. I made it through the song without passing out. And, we received top marks for our performance.

Yes! One crossword puzzle hint can send my thoughts scattering like this. You think I'm playing about the ADD...but I'm not.

You'll be a dentist..

When I was younger I went to a dentist that was very.....aggressive. It even says so right there in his advertisment...aggressive dentistry for kids. Yay! Not. I had every single one of my baby teeth pulled out because they just weren't falling out fast enough on their own. The whole being strapped down thing was great. Headgear for an over-bite? I had it. I was in partial-braces for years, colored bands and all, and then he tells my Mom he wants to put me in a full set...are you kidding me? I told him no way, so he took the partial braces off and fitted me for a retainer and told me that as long as I cared what my smile looked like I would have to wear that stupid retainer. Well, that lasted for about a year and then I lost track of that stupid retainer and have never had another dentist tell me I need a retainer.

To say I have been traumatized is an understatement. And it pisses me right off to think of that dentist taking advantage of my Mom like that who was just trying to do the right thing to ensure her girls had pretty smiles. After so many years I might be able to look back with some perspective and think it was just ME, but over the years every time I mention this guys name people roll their eyes, tell me stories they have heard. Every.single.time. So, it is NOT just me. He is a loser, who prys on people's emotions for the insurance money..I'm sure. I can't believe he is still in business, but he is. Boo! I tell everyone I can NOT to take their kids to him.

Anyway, a few posts back I mentioned that I have fell in love with Colgate Wisps(I forgot to pick some up on our last grocery trip..curses!). A confident smile is important. You don't want to walk around all day worrying about if you have something stuck in your teeth or coffee stains setting in or bad breath.



SSSsssoooo, I'm giving you a chance to win a package of Colgate Wisps! No, this is not the big giveaway that I have been hinting about..lol. But a mini-giveaway to tide y'all over.

Here is what you gotta do!

First, you have to follow my blog! If you do already, leave me a comment here telling me so. If you are a new reader, leave me a comment here to tell me so. That is one entry.

Second, tell me a dentist horror story of your own..either in comment here or on your own blog..comment here with a link back to your blog post. That is another possible entry.

Lastly, go and like my blog facebook page and then..you guest it..come back here and leave a comment. That's another entry.

Next friday, that's June 10, I'll pick a random number and send you a package of Wisps!!

Sweet Memory

It must have been nearly four years ago. My Mother-in-law had come to pick me up from work to take me some where..I don't remember where, probably a doctors appointment. My nephew, Mack, was in the back seat. If it was four years ago he wasn't in school yet but hanging with Nanny for the day.

It was around this same time of year, right after Mother's day. We probably had just celebrated the weekend before, with gifts for my Mother-in-law and Grandmother-in-law. We hadn't been talking about Mother's day but from the backseat my nephew says,

'Why didn't Jinny get anything for Mother's day?'

My Mother-in-law and I sort of glanced over at each other. It's not exactly a super touchy subject, but for anyone that has ever suffered through infertility, hearing the words..cold,hard facts..can sometimes sting. My Mother-in-law took the lead. 'Well, honey. Jinny and Jeremy don't have any kids.'

Mack sat there for a minute processing that information.

'But she has Duke and Lola.'

I smiled, so did my Mother-in-law. 'Yes she does.'

The next month, when Father's day rolled around, Mack had made all the Dad's little beaded animals. Jeremy got a fish, its still hanging on his rear-view mirror. And I got a mouse. Not for Father's day..but as a belated Mother's day gift.

Hold On Tight

How did you know that Jeremy was a keeper?

I have turned this question over in my mind again and again. How to answer..how to answer. So, I went back to the beginning (I am waiting for Vizzini - Quick, name that movie!). And I have to be honest, after being with Jeremy for 11+ years, the details from the beginning are getting fuzzy.

How can I explain that every time I would leave campus for lunch my whole insides would light up when he would be in the parking lot waiting for me?

How can I explain the overwhelming comfort I would feel just from holding his hand?

How can I explain how hard it was to leave him at the end of every night when everything inside of me was screaming to just stay with him?

How can I explain that when he talked about forever I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would always be true to me?

I really can't explain it, I really can't. We are a near perfect combination of yin and yang and it was obvious from the start how much we suited each other. And I just knew that if I wanted a husband that was good-hearted, hard working, loyal, and faithful then I had better hold on to him with both hands.

So I did.

The Special Aunt

There was a time when my brother-in-laws started having kids that I imagined I would be the same kind of aunt for my nieces and nephews as my aunts were for me. My Mom has 6 siblings. I am one of 17 grandkids. So when I was growing up, there was a lot of sharing of the children. I remember spending weekends and summer days with my aunts and uncles. If my Mom needed someone to pick me up from school, there was an aunt to get me. When someone was taking their kids on a trip to Sea World it wasn't anything for another set of cousins to be asked to come along. When school pictures came out, all the aunts and uncles got a picture. That's just how it was done.

So, when my nephew was born I was a little disappointed when it became clear that I would not get to be the same type of aunt to him. I had to ask for one of his Kindergarten school pictures..what is up with that? But, I started thinking about how my husband was raised. His parents moved far away from their family in Pennsylvania (military..of course) to West Texas and this is where he and his brothers were raised. There were no aunts and uncles to spend the weekends with. So, for my husband and his brothers the concept of 'Aunt and Uncle' are not the same to them as it is to me.

Yesterday we spent the evening at Jeremy's grandparents house for dinner. His parents were there, along with one of this brothers, and my three year old niece, Dolly. She came running over to give me a big old hug and I told her that the tank top she was wearing was very cute. A little while later, as Dolly and I were sitting on the couch together she was admiring my charm necklace. She told me that it was a very cute necklace I had on (clever little girl) and we started talking about all the different charms and stones. Then she eyed my shoes and asked me what kind they were. 'These are called Wedges,' I said to her..and she repeated it. I smiled and told her, 'And so your fashion education begins..I shall teach you everything I know'. Of course she is giggling at me. I told her I would buy her a charm necklace like mine and she says, 'and will you buy me shoes like those?' She points to my wedges. I smiled again, 'Someday, I will.'

And special memories of my aunts resurfaced in my mind. Maybe I'll get to be the aunt I want to be after all.

Jin and Jerm's Big Hawaiian Adventure Part 2

We made it down to Poipu Beach and the Hyatt, where I told Jeremy just to wait for me as I hopped out to see when our room would be ready. It wasn't even 11:00am yet and I knew that a lot of placed didn't start checking people in until after noon...never mind the fact that we had just made the reservation THAT morning.

When I walked into the marble floored lobby this was the view that greeted me:

It took my breath away. This..THIS was the Hawaii I was looking for. I picked my jaw up off the floor and tried not to skip over to the check in desk. I told the man behind the counter that we had just made our reservation that morning so I was just checking on when we could get into our room. The lovely man told me that our room was ready right then. Are you kidding me? Someone pinch me.

I flagged down Jeremy and told him to come on in since we were checking in right that very minute. The lovely man asked us if we were in Hawaii for a honeymoon or anniversary and when we told him for our 10 year anniversary he asked if we would like a bottle of champagne delivered to our room. I looked over at Jeremy and then back to the lovely man behind the counter. And then, then I totally channeled my Mom and asked "Well, how much would it cost?" The lovely man didn't even bat an eyelash even though I'm sure he was rolling his eyes at me on the inside, "It's complimentary, ma'am". Complimentary....as in free? For real? Um..yes, please!

The first thing I noticed when I walked into our room was that there was air conditioning..which meant the room was cool and DRY. No more tropical funk. This was the view from our lanai:

We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the resort grounds. The trees, the flowers, the pools, the birds. They had exotic birds in cages, and others uncaged, all over the grounds with plates next to them telling you what their names were and what kind of birds they were.

And we finally...finally got our feet in some sand down on the uncrowded crescent shaped beach:
After fully absorbing every part of heavenly resort we made our way back to our wonderfully air conditioned room to find our complimentary bottle of champagne waiting for us:

Wearing A Memory

When I was younger, a long..long time ago, my parents took me to Disney World. I don't remember much about it. Actually I don't remember anything...except for picking a pearl. Back when I was there the oysters were actually at the bottom of a large pool. You would pick one out and someone would "dive" down to get it and open it for you.

For years and years my Mom kept the loose pearls in her jewelry box. Until finally she had them put on a necklace setting and gave them to my sister and me. I let the necklace hang in my jewelry armoire for a long time because I didn't wear gold jewelry. I know..so stupid.



I've broadened my fashion footprint over the last year or so and have added the necklace to my normal rotation. I usually wear either my Tiffany necklace or my pearl necklace. It's simple and classic and dainty enough not to get in the way. I love that no one can go into a jewelry store and buy the same necklace. I love that this is a piece of my childhood that I get to wear around with me every day.

Jinny Now and Then..by request

Jinny, then; Circa 1982

Jinny, then; Circa 1998

Jinny, then; Circa 2007

Jinny, now; Circa this very minute

Now and Then

Otto, then.

Otto, now. Squeak, then.

Squeak, now.

Jeremy, then.

Jeremy, now.