Vacation Revelations

We recently went to Florida for a family vacation with my mom and sister. My mom turned 60 and what she wanted to do was go to the beach. So, that is what we did.

We had a great time visiting my aunt and the beach was great. I didn't have a concern in the world about wearing my bikini while we were there. I didn't obsess over who might be looking at me, what they might be thinking about me. I didn't feel self-conscious at all...until I saw the pictures.

Photo-bombed by my bat arm

I'm really glad that I was able to enjoy myself in the moment. But..I'm not happy with where I let myself backslide to. If you're a new reader you might not know that a few years ago I lost 60 lbs. At my heaviest (known) weight I was 211. I've done very well at maintaining, for the most part, but I have found over the last year that the weight is creeping back on.

Near my heaviest weight

Near my lowest weight

My current weight

I've put on about 20 lbs from my lowest weight. And it's not like I didn't know it was happening. The scale doesn't lie. But I was turning a blind eye to it, putting on the back burner. Until yesterday..for the first time since I lost all the weight I couldn't wear a top because my arms were too big.

Talk about eye-opener. As I sit here, if I listen to my body, it's telling me it's not happy. I'm not comfortable, just sitting here.

So something must be done. And it will start with re-evaluating what I'm eating and how much of it I'm eating. I wish I could say with confidence that this will be easy...since I've done it before...but I'm not so sure that will be the case.

The things I do for beauty

I finally got around to using the Laneige Water Bank Soothing Mask that came in the Target Beauty Box my friend Jonessa sent me. This mask comes in two pieces..for your upper and lower face. I think this design really helped with the 'non-slip' aspect. It really did stay in place. And I was even doing squats while watching House Hunters as I wore it. It didn't budge.

It is super hydrating. Even after I took it off and massaged any excess into my skin, my face felt very soft and dewy. Per Target.com, "The mask is formulated with Biogen Technology, which activates and increases the skin’s Natural Moisturizing Factor levels to prevent future moisture loss and maintain adequate hydration". Last summer, my sister treated me to a day at the spa. The Esthetician told me that my flaky areas were due to dehydration....AND my oily spots? ALSO from dehydration. Basically most of my skin issues are due to the fact that my skin is under-hydrated.

At $24.00 for five masks, I'd say it's worth it to treat yo' self...and your face.

Sabotage

Did you sing this post title a la The Beastie Boys? No? What is wrong with you?

I have been trying to slowly get back in the habit of working out and eating right. But I have found myself slipping back into old habits. I can't seem to keep myself from eating. This is a habit that I was doing really good at controlling. I was talking myself out of the second plate of food. I was convincing myself that it was ok to throw food away (I know, I know...wasteful...but when it comes to my health and my food addiction...I'm doing it).

But lately, I've been sabotaging myself. It has been all about the mindless eating. I'm eating donuts (after I already had a bagel). I'm eating chocolate bars. I'm eating second servings. That last slice of garlic bread? Oh yeah, it's going in my mouth (#twss). I'm eating Halloween candy. I'm eating all the Christmas cookies.

Put it in front of me....I'm eating it.

I cannot stop myself.

And the scale is telling on me. It keeps creeping up and up and up.

So, I'm talking about it. Putting it out there. If you see me with another chocolate bar, please feel free to slap it out of my hand. If we happen to go out for dinner, feel free to suggest that I get the salad...and then half it into a to-go box. Really. I need to re-train myself once again to do these things.

Because I refuse to let myself go back.

All the cool kids are doing it

New years always means RESOLUTIONS! You know the age old typical resolutions. This is THE year we are going to get lean and clean up our diet..right?! The TV is overflowing with ads for diet plans and exercise DVD's and equipment. According to Jillian Michaels you can just WALK AWAY the pounds..its so revolutionary! The greatest thing since sliced bread....which none of us are allowed to eat anymore...right?!



Except, March rolls around. And the newness has been brutally worn off by reality and daily life. Changing long held habits is hard. It's not fun...no, it's not. It really, really sssuuuccckkkss. It takes up a lot of time and it costs a lot of money. Especially if you want to go all in on a gym membership/diet plan/personal trainer. You have to pay all kind of fees, buy a ton more work out clothes (or do laundry every night), buy all new organic, locally grown, fresh foods and cooking supplies. Have you seen how much that crap costs?!

So, I've pretty much given up even making new year resolutions. But that doesn't mean that a sister can't try and set teeny tiny goals..that don't take a new wardrobe or gym membership to accomplish. This year I'm going to try and drink more water. I just need to do it, it's good for me and I can do it while sitting down. I'm going to try and make better food choices. I started tracking my food on myfitnesspal again. I'm going to try really hard not to let the calorie goal be a hard line in the sand for me. It's really ok if I go over it, I just want to be more mindful of what I'm eating on a daily basis.

Using a lettuce leaf rather than a tortilla is a smart move.

Making sweet potato, broccoli, and chicken for dinner is a good choice.

All I really want to do is stay hydrated, not snack too much, find fun and inexpensive ways to eat a little better, and get off my butt and workout a little more (not every day...don't be crazy). Here's to 2015 and small and manageable life changes.

Where am I? What day is it?

So...hey.


I think this is the longest I have ever gone without blogging something. To say that the last two months have been crazy hectic is a very sorry understatement. I honestly can't remember another time where our daily routine was so jacked up for such a long time. And it's STILL not back to normal.

First things first...

Precious has gone to another foster home. I am a foster failure. But not the good kind you hear about where they fall so in love with their foster that they adopt them. No, I'm the other kind. Precious was really coming out of her shell, but only as long as she was within the four walls of this house and with Jeremy and me. Take her outside the house, and she totally freaked out or shut down. Bring someone else into the house, total meltdown. And, she was feeling so very comfortable in the house that she started chasing our cats. Precious is a great dog, she was very attached to us and loved being with us. And by with us I mean glued to our side and in our face all of the time. We brought her as far as we could in her journey and I knew that she needed someone else to help her along for the next part. Someone who could work with her to socialize her better. Someone with no kitty cats. So, off she went on a new adventure. I can only hope that she is doing ok.

Second....

Jeremy had surgery. It was day surgery, but still surgery. We spent the first half of the day at the hospital. Thank goodness my Mother-in-law came to sit with me. It made the waiting go by so much faster. That was two weeks ago. Jeremy is doing great. All of his stiches were internal and dissolvable, only two butterfly bandages on the outside (which he was already able to remove). Once his incision heals completely, he and I will have matching belly button scars. Twinsies!

Third...

We are still working on the hallway. Jeremy has pretty much completed his part and so it was time for me to do my part. The words...the words on the wall.

We have Sparrows that come and try to make a nest under our patio every single year. The west Texas wind always blows it down, every single year. Not that it keeps them from trying. So we decided to help the birds out and put up two birdhouses under our patio. The sparrows are already building a nest in one.

And, just to wrap it up,...

We finally made it to Enchanted Rock for our 14th Anniversary this month. We tried going two years ago for our anniversary, but we made the fatal mistake of going on Saturday. The line to get into the park was down the road, so we bailed out. This time we played it safe and went on a Tuesday, our actual anniversary, and getting in was a breeze. No line! The weather was perfect, overcast but not cold. By the time we were leaving the park the clouds were gone and it warmed up, so we picked the perfect time to go. I was a little nervous climbing up that huge rock, it was pretty steep in some spots. But there were other people, some younger and some older than me, out there making the climb. So I kept telling myself if they could do it..I could do it too. Jeremy helped encourage me to keep going. And I'm glad I did. The view from the top was pretty amazing. I hope we get to go back some time to explore the park more.

I am hoping..and praying..that things get back to some type of normal very soon.

Skincare - #2014BloggerChallenge

I am going to be straight up with y'all. I don't take very good care of my skin! I mean, I want to. I think about it. Sometimes I even buy a product or three. But it always comes back to routine. I get lazy. I forget. And those products either go to waste or last me forever because I never use them on a regular basis.

However...

For Christmas my mom gifted me with a Clarisonic Mia. It's been on my 'want' list for about a year or so. One of those many things I think about, but never quite get around to buying for myself. I desperately wanted to find a way to fit the Mia into my routine. Remember, this is the important part for me and I didn't want my gift to go unused (my mom would have been very unhappy). Luckily, this facial brush is water-tight. That means I'm able to bring it into the shower with me without ruining it..or killing myself.

So, now I keep it in the shower. It stares me in the face every morning, kind of hard to forget about it that way.

And another good thing about it is that the cleaning cycle is timed. One minute...that's it! I use my normal facial cleanser, Neutrogena Naturals Purifying Facial Cleanser (which I still haven't been using on the regular), and just let it go for a minute while I focus on covering all parts of my face.

It's gentle. It hasn't made me break out. It makes my skin feel amazingly smooth.

I have combination dry/oily skin. So I will admit that fresh out of the shower my skin is a little more dry in some spots and a little overly oily in others, but that's all fixed by a slathering of Aveeno Clear Complexion Daily Moisturizer (again, needs to be more routine ANYWAY) and a super light dusting of E.L.F. Translucent Matifying Powder.

And that, my friends, is about as labor intensive as I get with my skincare.

I'm really hoping this routine sticks. My skin isn't getting any younger and I want it to look as good as it can, for as long as it can.

What's been going on?

Well, nothing really. A whole lot of nothing. Not that I'm complaining. Not even a little bit. After the whirlwind that was December, I'll take uneventful any day {for now}. Really, we've just been trying to get back to a normal routing. Work, dinner, workouts, dog walks. It's been really hard, for some reason.

I'm bored out of my mind at work right now, when before the new year my days were zipping by. I think it's the lack of direction. I don't need much, I'm very good at working on my own..but radio silence doesn't sit well with me.

I snapped an Instagram picture this morning of my newly acquired muffin top. Apparently, it's what I gave myself for Christmas...lucky me. No gift receipt so I can't return it and I'm already wearing it..so....Let's just say I'm well within my pre-set "Danger Zone" on the scale and it's time to buckle down and get it off before it starts to think I'm keeping it for good.

I'm having to be very deliberate in my eating, once again. Things that were habit more or less have fallen away to make room for nasty old habits. Such as eating two servings at dinner and ice cream..every.single.night. I'm having to think about dinner WAY before dinner time to prepare myself mentally for only eating what my body needs me to.

Going to the gym seems to be SO HARD. I'm tired. All the time. Probably from not going to the gym. Crazy how that works. We went tonight and things that had been so easy for me were kicking my butt. Honestly, I could barely finish and had to half-ass stuff...but I DID do it. Which is better than NOT doing it at all {I keep telling myself}, so there is that.

I hate to look like I'm jumping on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon, because I'm really not. These are all things that I use to be doing..quite frequently..and with little thought. It's just so hard to get back on schedule once you allow yourself off the hook...and for as long as I did. So just don't do it y'all! Stay strong! Say no to the muffin top.

My holiday weekend

Girls Night

Fun in the sun on the 4th of July.

 

Hanging out with family.

Doggy cousins.

Working out with Seester. I no likey.

No Coffee - Day One

It is always smart to get a good solid eight hours of sleep when you plan on skipping your usual morning coffee...for the first time...in years...the very next day.

Did I do that?

No.

I stayed up late reading a book.

Late night + No Coffee = Disaster.

Hopefully day two will go a little better.

Progress/Regress

Me, 2006

 

Me, 2010

Me, June 2012
 

Me, today.

I feel like I am so very close to where I want to be. But I haven't been committing myself to my health. I've been lazy and back sliding and eating whatever I want. I miss the drive and direction I had in the past, the mind set of knowing what I need to do to reach my goal. So I am trying to refocus. I'm trying to tune back in and listen to my body. It's been a while...I'm a little rusty.

Hi.

I know things have been a little quite around here. Sorry about that. Life is just moving right along. Nothing much out of the ordinary...except...

My first ever chiropractic appointment.

I am coming up on my 15th service anniversary at work. That is 15 years of sitting at a desk, doing the same thing over and over and over. It's finally starting to take a toll on my body. THAT..and I'm getting old. lol. Anyway, my shoulder and neck had really started to bother me. Very sore, very tense..all the time. No matter what I did, I couldn't get any relief from the tension.

So, I took the leap and booked a chiropractic appointment.

I'll be honest, I was a little nervous. I had never heard anyone speak badly about a chiropractic adjustment. BUT, I just wasn't sure what to expect.

 





I am happy to report that my first adjustment (and second adjustment, that was today) went well. I was surprised that the adjustment didn't hurt, at all..not even a little. After only one visit, the tension in my shoulder and up my neck is gone. And even though I'm not claiming that it was some voodoo that magically cured me, I am amazed. I'm not 100% better, but I am already much better than I was.

For that reason alone, I think I can put a little faith in this whole Chiropractic stuff.

Back on the wagon

So...I am back on the wagon.

 

Fore the last few years I've been coasting, quite content, at my current weight. But since the start of the year, my food and fitness routines have slipped into oblivion {Anyone going to see the movie Oblivion this weekend? It's on my 'to see' list.}

 

I have recommitted myself to eating better and working out on a regular basis. Not only that, but I've decided its time to actively try and lose some more weight.

 

When I first started on my weight loss journey I was 2ll lbs. My first big goal I set for myself was 150 lbs. And I eventually reached that goal...and have been at that goal for the last several years.

 

Even as great as that is...MUCH better than it was...I am still technically 'overweight' and a little on the flabby side. My goal is another 20 lbs (that will be a total of 80 lbs lost for those playing at home). I didn't give myself a time frame. We'll see how it goes.

 

I'm using a few Apps to help keep me on track:

 

1. My Fitness Pal {I'm justjinny if you want to look me up}.

Pros: It's free! You can scan a barcode from an item using the camera on your phone and it will automatically pull up that item if it's in their database (I haven't come across anything that hasn't been in there).

Cons: Adding your fitness isn't always easy, especially if it's strength training.

 

2. RunKeeper

Pros: Also free! Keeps track of your time, distance, and calorie count.

Cons: If your signal is weak on the GPS it has a harder time keeping an accurate calorie count.

 

3. Nike Training Club

Pros: You guessed it, FREE! Tons of workouts that can be done in the gym or your living room.

Cooties

Jeremy is sick.

 

Monday night he woke up with chills and a cough. He spiked a 101 temp and generally felt miserable. By Thursday he wasn't feeling better so he went to the doctor.

 

Turns out he has strep throat. After a shot in the butt they sent him home with the warning that he is highly contagious.

 

Great!!!

 

Shake some chicken bones that I don't catch his Jeremy germs.

 

I keep trying to tell myself that this tickle in my throat is all in my head.

Shed & Share!

My weight loss story has been featured on Peak313 Fitness! Clare is a wonderful inspiration for your outsides AND your insides. She combines fitness, faith, and daily living on her blog. Go check it out and look around...I'm serious, it's a great website.

I thought I was going to get lucky

I had my fair share of dental stuff done when I was young. I had most of my baby teeth pulled {not all at once} because they didn't come out fast enough by themselves. I had braces and headgear. I had a retainer.

All of that.

So far, in my adult life, I've been very lucky in the teeth department {knocking on wood}. No cavities or root canals. The only thing that I had to keep an eye on were my wisdom teeth, which came in. My dental hygienist would always remind me to try my best to keep all of that clean back there.

And I hadn't had any issues.

Until about two weeks ago.

{que dramatic music} dun dun DDDDUUUNNN!!!

It started with sore gums. But when it didn't go away I started getting concerned. Infections are not anything that you want to mess around with so, just in case, I went to the dentist. Good news is there is no infection. Bad news is my wisdom teeth need to come out.

I am just slightly terrified.

I might have been a little teary eyed on the car ride home. I KNOW it's ridiculous but I can't help it. Dental work makes me nervous.

The appointment to see the oral surgeon is next week. Hopefully the surgery itself will be quickly scheduled after that. Because if I have to wait another two/three weeks they might be chasing me down as I head for the border.

The battle of the belly bulge.

Jeremy and I have both been slacking. With our fitness. We've been self-indulgent for a good long time now...eating whatever we want, drinking whatever we want, and going to the gym whenever we want which is almost never.

He sent me this picture, which got us talking about our fitness goals :

Him: I need to start working on that six pack.
Me: Ha ha! I want a six pack too.
Me: Sooo, we're going to the gym right?
Me: Yes
Me: We
Me: Are
 {which we didn't...by the way}
Him: You know if we want to get into that good of shape we're gonna have to get into some hardcore training and dieting. Like seven days a week.
Me: I know! *groan*
Him: Well, maybe we should quit playing around.
Me: Maybe..in which case, I need some more workout clothes.
 {which I haven't bought yet..by the way}

I know I have heard and read that getting defined abs..or muscles, in general, is not all about what you do in the gym. A lot of it is what you eat. I know my cousin, Natalie, {the little fitness instructor/energizer bunny} and my cousin friend, Josie, are big on eating clean.

I've talked about this. I've looked into it. I've window shopped at the grocery store. But it comes down to..I don't want to eat a bunch of beans and tofu!! And I'm not really seeing any other way of "eating clean". My husband works hard all day...I can't make him a bean salad for dinner!  So, we are meat eaters. Anyone have any great healthy recipes with MEAT (we eat a lot of chicken..some fish..and some ground beef (or turkey)..but mostly chicken).

Maybe my unwillingness to eat bean sprouts means we are doomed to have jiggly bellies. But I can still dream, right? At least???

Random thoughts on a sleep deprived Monday

1. I stayed up too late last night reading {Defiant by Pamela Clare}. Even after I put the book aside I had a really hard time finding sleep. It was an on again/off again thing until the alarm went off at 5:30.

2. Because I was tired and grouchy my coworkers were annoying me..by just sitting there. I managed not to get into an argument with anyone..but I'm not sure how.

3. Did y'all hear about the Octomom signing up for gofundme.com so people, regular ol' people like you and me, can give her money? For nothing in return! Does that really work? I'm totally doing it.

4. I removed the word verification thingy from my blog comments {you're welcome}, but I'm getting pissed at the stupid spam comments. I get excited when I see an email that tells me I have a comment waiting for approval just to have my mood soured to find its a spammer. Boo.

5. But I have been loving the upswing in comments lately from y'all..the real human people out there. I love hearing from y'all.

6. I have become a little discouraged with my weigh loss/fitness. I still have a little too much jiggle to my wiggle. But I'm having a hard time committing to a solid work out schedule or curbing my food intake. I haven't gained any weight, no worries, but I'm still considered overweight and I'm just..jiggly. Too jiggly.

Tuesday Randoms

~ Anyone have any meditation techniques? Because this girl has GOT to learn to relax. It may be PMS too. I have a serious ebb and flow of emotions from month to month. Tensing up and worrying about everything seems to come with the territory. So..meditation and midol.

~ I'm going to be reviewing romance novels at Seductive Musings. SSQQQEEEE!! I'm so excited and nervous and excited.

~ Speaking of romance novels, Defiant by Pamela Clare was released today. It has been much anticipated since its the third novel in the series about the MacKinnon brothers. I'm a bad fan and haven't picked it up yet, but I will...soon.

~ Forced myself to go to the gym today for the first time in weeks. I get antsy if I have too many evenings at home with nothing to do. Which doesn't sound like me at all..but I think that was the old me. I'm becoming a busy body in my old age. Must. Do. Something.

~ I have a canker sore on the very tip of my tongue and it is VERY annoying.

~ I'm learning all kinds of uses for baking soda through pinterest. Did you know that baking soda and salt can help with canker sores? Can't imagine it would taste good at all, but still. AND baking soda can be used to exfoliate your skin. It supposedly gives you that 'just got a facial' glow. I haven't tried it yet, so don't take my word for it.

~ Speaking of facials. I really need to find some type of foundation/primer/face spackle that will hide my flaky skin. I have dry flaky skin between my eyes and around my mouth. I use a gentle daily exfoliator in the shower but it doesn't seem to help with the flakiness..especially when I try to wear any makeup. *la sigh* I'm just destined to be a wrinkly, flaky skinned troll for the rest of my life.

Things I Learned Yesterday

1. Asparagus is really good with hummus.

2. How to pronounce Quinoa {Keen-wa}

3. Eating healthy costs a lot of money.

4. That a sweet potato can be completely baked in the microwave in just 8 minutes.

5. It's very important to chop sweet potato chips evenly so some of them don't burn to a crisp.

6. Agave syrup is great in coffee {ok, I learned that this morning but still..}

7. Sweet potatoes make pretty good brownies {I learned a lot about sweet potatoes}

8. Little boys take playing Captain America VERY seriously.

9. That family takes you just as you are, with holes in the wall and animal hair on the floor.

10. BodyCOMBAT is awesome..so awesome that we spontaneously break into jab/cross jabs and double knees right in the living room.