I was talking with my co-worker the other day about things that irritate me. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy and when I get in a mood, my brain really works against me. Anyway, one of the things that usually creeps up during these spells of bitchness is the idea that I am not where I am suppose to be at this point in my life.
We should have a couple of kids by now.
We should have sold and purchased a couple of houses by now.
We should own more than one vehicle.
I should have a gazillion dollars in my 401k.
I have to remind myself that there is no pre-determined schedule for life. There is no such thing as pre-packaged "Dream Life" programs. There is nothing that says you have to accomplish this thing by this age. Or that you have to own this many things by this time.
The journey from point A to point B is never the same for anyone.
So there is no reason for me to feel like I am behind, like I'm missing something, like there is a rush to get to the end. I sometimes think in just another year or two we will 'get there', even though I can't tell you exactly where 'there' is. But really there is no 'getting there' until you are dead. Life is constant learning, constant change, a constant journey.
Instead of trying to squeeze my life into some imaginary calendar, I need to learn to life in the moment. I need to appreciate what I have in front of me. I need to understand that I am my own person, I am unlike anyone else in the world. My marriage is unlike any other marriage in the world, it is unique. And our life together, our journey, is different...and special..and wonderful.
To steal a line from a pretty cheesy movie I just saw last weekend:
"Close your eyes and take three deep breaths... This is the only moment you need to worry about. No yesterday. No tomorrow. Just right now. You're not late for anything. You aren't going to miss anything. You're exactly where you're supposed to be & you're exactly who you're supposed to be. You're absolutely perfect & whatever happens today is exactly whats supposed to happen & if you want, I'll spend every moment with you for the rest of your life." - Hit and Run
What a great post! I have times where I get really down about where my life should be and then I have to tell myself all the things in this post. There is no set schedule all that matters is that you are happy and if you are going nuts you can't enjoy the ride to wherever it is your supposed to be anyway.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya. I think I should be at a certain place in my life with so many things. But honestly, life is good and I'm pretty darn happy.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. :)
I know... I felt the same way turning 30, having lost at love very badly not all that long beforehand ... in a dead-end job/career ... feeling pretty damn sorry for myself. I had good girlfriends who helped me realize all the good I had in my life, and who helped me see that everyone else's expectations for me shouldn't shape my own ideas. It took a while to sink in but since it did, I've been so much happier. It's not where I ever imagined my life to be as a young girl, but who's to say that my so-called "fairy tale dream" wouldn't have been a nightmare in reality, if it had gone as it was "supposed" to (according to all those expectations).
ReplyDeleteLove you much, Jinny. You continue to inspire this ol' broad. :)