1. I wish I wasn't so afraid. Afraid of getting lost. Afraid of moving. Afraid of strangers. Afraid of 'going for it'. Afraid of falling flat on my face. Afraid of looking stupid. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid of standing still. Afraid of not saying something. Afraid of saying too much. Afraid of spending too much money.
2. I wish I weren't so shy. I am a socially awkward person. I don't move well in crowds of people I don't know. That could go back to the fear thing. I'm just not a smoozer...but I really wish I was.
3. I wish I had more ambition. People who have a passion for something, something they learn everything about, something they turn into a career that they love..I admire them a lot. I wish I had the ambition to cultivate what talent and passions I have to turn into a career..or to just do SOMETHING with.
Wow. I dwell on those SAME 3 things ALL THE TIME. I swear we were meant to be friends :) I have to say though that you're an amazing girl so don't let these things get the best of you ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you on number three. I'm married to someone who is insanely passionate about his career, and I just don't have the drive he has. I don't have to work as hard as he does, but I also don't get the excitement he does.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on it though, trying to create something to be passionate about. I just don't know if it'll work.
I definitely relate, and my list of three things would probably be very similar to yours.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about fear is that my mind understands why it's irrational, or why it "doesn't matter" or whatever, but I have a hard time getting past it. I had to talk myself into being okay with going to the book signing on Saturday, because I was so worried - how big would the crowd be, will I find a parking place, I look like crap what will these people think, what if I get one of those random bouts of pregnancy sickness while I'm there... and on and on and on.
My mother would tell you I've always tried too hard, and wanted too much for things to be perfect. I think there might be something to that, again even though my brain understands the fallacies of that line of thought.
I think I'm probably just weird.