Sunday, January 24, 2010

I like you, like you.

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable"

I recently had a conversation with a co-worker about being in love..and how easy it can be. I often say that being in love is very easy, its people that try and make it so complicated. That's doesn't mean that there aren't adjustments, compromises, discussions, and fights. Because there

I told my co-worker that there is a very simple trick to loving someone. You have to like them.

There it is. All the wisdom I have. The very secret of my marriage.

I like him. And he likes me.

Sometimes..being married can generate feelings like one might have towards a sibling. You might LOVE your brother...because he is your brother. But that doesn't mean you like him. And that can make all the difference to your relationship with your brother. So, same with marriage. You can ask someone who has been married for years if they love their spouse. And they would say..of course I love him...he is my spouse. they like each other? That's a whole different question. And an important one.

Because, once the lust has faded...the passion has cooled...the kids have been raised...the careers have been made...what you have left is what you will have for the rest of your lives.

I shared the discussion we had with my husband, who agrees. And one night while I was getting dinner ready he kissed me and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him too and he started to leave the kitchen, but then he stopped and he added..'I don't just love you, I like you'.

And I like him too. It makes all the difference, all the difference in the world.

1 comment:

  1. YES! and very eloquently said. even though we've only been together 8 years and we are soooo young in the grand scheme of things, i know that this entry speaks a basic truth. Bud and i do like each other. i don't see how anyone could ever make it if there wasn't a deep deep LIKE along with the love and lust.