Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Struggling with Jade

I feel very jaded right now. As if the world is one large planet of 'who gives a fuck'.  A friend of mine {I guess I could call her a friend as we have never met face to face,  just over the internet} posted on Facebook: 'You get back what you put into the universe'.  I wish I could believe that. But right now, I just don't.

If you are nice to people doesn't mean people will be nice to you.
If you help people doesn't mean people will help you.
If you love people doesn't mean people will love you.
If you open yourself up to people doesn't mean people will open up to you.

I spent the entire afternoon volunteering to help find animals homes. And HOW did the Universe repay me? I lost the pearl off my necklace. The pearl I've had since I was 5 years old...probably at the event. Thanks a lot, Universe.

It's more likely that other people will not be nice to you, will not help you when you need it, will not love you, and will not open up to you..or be your friend..or be kind or thoughtful to you. And the universe is just going to screw you over, not matter what {Jeremy says its just bad luck..same thing!}.

We are all a bunch of selfish assholes. And of COURSE I am including myself in that. I've tried being nice and kind and happy. To be quiet honest, it doesn't come all that naturally to me...to be thoughtful and nice to other people. I mean, I don't walk around being a total bitch (always). But I don't usually go OUT of my way to do kind things for people..without thinking about it.

I think I've caught 'the emo' from hanging out at the mall so much lately.


  1. I definitely think I struggle with being a cynic about things but I tend to want to believe the good in people. I don't trust easy or let people 'in' per say but I don't want to let other people's actions dictate my actions.

    My dad says that how you respond to external stressers elevates you to a whole different level. It sounds elitist but I do believe in constant personal improvement. I'm currently trying to work on my anger management skills and my patience.

    I'm sorry you lost your pearl. That must have been extremely upsetting.

  2. I backed into my lilacs, putting three deep scratches down the entire driver's side of my truck, then I sat on my sunglasses, then my husband's alarm clock BLARED at 5:45 this morning when I didn't need to be awake until 7. To counter all of that, I bought new boots. I don't know about the Universe, but I feel better.