I know a young man, a very fine young man who is practically part of my family. This young man sometimes blogs. And sometimes this young man seems to struggle..with life, with his relationship with God. I feel like he is holding his breath waiting for that terrifying, yet thrilling moment where he is plummeted over the edge. I feel like he is frantic with the need to serve God, in order to stay in God's good graces.
I feel like he is waiting for something....something big to happen.
But. While he is waiting life is happening. His life. I'm afraid he is missing all the goodness that can be found in the simplest acts of every day living. And I'm afraid he is wasting a lot of time feeling like God is disappointed in him for not getting to that bigger thing sooner.
Truth is, there isn't a crescendo to life. Unless its death. Life is made up of many little cymbal chimes rather than one big gong. And I have seen so many people who walk around with the mentality that their "real life" hasn't started yet. When it HAS started and they are MISSING IT.
There is also no heavenly scoreboard. God is not keeping score. So, it is nice to put in a hundred thousand volunteer hours at your Church. That would certainly please God but it won't earn you extra brownie points. There are no price tags on your acts of kindness and goodwill. One isn't worth more than another.
And that is God's grace. You can't earn it. He gives it to us no matter how flawed we are. And that fire you so desperately want to fan into a raging inferno might serve you better as a glowing ember instead.
So, to the young man that I love like family, do not worry so much about the next step. Live fully in this moment and smile. Be kind (I've never seen you be anything else..so try and be kind to yourself) and know that you are already in God's good graces just because you woke up this morning with Him in your heart.