Remembering

I remember throwing myself on my bed after struggling into my size 18 pants. I cried and said out loud, to no one, 'I am not suppose to be this way. I'll kill myself if I go up another size'. Pretty strong words, although I didn't really give it much thought after that momentary outburst.

During my Junior year in high school, I was in the best shape of my life. Not maintaining a ridiculous weight by starving myself, but eating better and going to the gym every day faithfully.


But I feel in love, graduated high school, and got a steady desk job. Contentment breed laziness in me. Over a ten year span, the laziness turned into weight gain which turned into unhappiness. And even though I hated my body, avoided looking at myself too closely, stopped bothering with jewelry or makeup...I allowed myself to inch up to nearly a size 24 before I finally was ready to make a change.


It has taken me the last four years to put myself back on the right track. There was no magic pill, there was no instant weight loss plan, there was no 90 day workout that gave me abs. Slim fast? There is NO such thing. Not when you have 60+ lbs to lose. Don't believe the hype, believe in yourself. Because really, at the end of the day, its not Jenny Craig that makes the change...its you.