Dear September

Have you been hanging out with August? Because y'all are both scorching hot...and not in a good way. Let me remind you that as much fun as you think August is that you are suppose to be bringing in the fall. I don't care that August has talked up summer time like its going out of style. It IS going out of style. We are all tired of summer. Besides, there will lots of other summers. Right now, it's time for fall. And I'm not even asking for instant fall. I don't need for it to go from hot as hell to fridged cold. Ok? I just need you to tone back on the heat thing. Let's say to a crisp coolness? Doesn't that sound nice?

Really, August is pretty mean. She is SO hot that not even pool days sound good. Not only is she too hot to enjoy being outside she also brings the start of school. That means all the stores are shoving FALL fashion down our throats all of August while August is still 100+.  That isn't fun at all, September. August is a boiling hot hearted bitch. She doesn't care about the people, or animals, or trees, or flowers, or grass. She turns everything in her wake to stiff yellow deadness. No fun, September, NO fun.

So maybe you can be the nicer month. Maybe you can take pity on us humans and bring us some weather that actually makes us want to leave our houses. Think of all the people that would be walking and jogging outside in your glorious fall weather? The families that will reconnect at the end of the day with a nice walk around the block? The dogs that will get daily walks after having to watch the outside world through the the window because the cement was like lava? Think of all the smiles you will see. Instead of the cringes that we put on now when we walk outside, throwing our hands up to shield our eyes from melting out of our heads. We live like vampires, September! VAMPIRES! And I, for one, am tired of it.

Think about it, okay? I have a pumpkin with your name written all over it if you bring the heat back down under 'death ray'.